Are we afraid to be alone because no one will witness our life?

There is this fear our ego creates within us that if we don’t have a partner that somehow our life is incomplete. It makes us be on the hunt for our other half our whole life.  Like time is running out and the longer we live our lives without that other half the more unfulfilled it is and or will be. 

Could this be because we want that other half to be the witness to our life? A witness to our growth, a witness to the ups, the downs and everything in between. A witness who you can discuss the good, the bad and the ugly with, with no judgement, to have someone who was there and understands? 

When I think back to relationships that ended in my past, not just with a boyfriend but friends or family. The reason I feel sad that I no longer see them or talk to them is that I don’t have them to reminisce with. I can’t bring up experiences and bounce off one another with minor and major details of said experience.  I don’t have that person that just ‘understands’ without having to explain. 

You could have the most incredible experience with a person but if you lose contact with them and the relationship ends. No one in your current life that you interact with will know you did that, or went to that place, or did those crazy things. 

It’s like that saying…”if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound”.  

Will it be enough for you to know your life or will you constantly seek the validation of a witness? 

When something happens in your day, good or bad, you can’t wait to get home to tell your loved one.  To either boast about something great or whinge about something annoying that happened. If you get home and no one is around, there is no one to bear witness to your day.

An observation of people who live out there days alone, seem to not live life to the fullest. Maybe they don’t see the point because they have no one to share it with? Maybe they feel this unconsciously and it has never risen to the surface to deal with?  They haven’t realised they still owe it to themselves to have as much fun in this life as possible.

If you experience the majority of your life single, there is not just one person to witness your life. In an ideal partnership, you stay with one person for the majority of your life. They witness everything that happens to you. They witness all the other people who float in and out. They are there when you lose the ones you love. They’ve seen you achieve goals and tackle challenges. They are there for it all, they witness it all.  They not just witness the events but they witness your feelings, your thoughts, your state of being. There is no other person other than a life partner that will witness all of this. 

In this life, all of your relationships will end in one way or another, but you expect your partner to be with you for the majority of your adult life. A partner relationship hits different with us when it comes to someone witnessing our life. 

Could this be the true reason we partner up with someone and get married? 

I can’t think of a much sweeter thing in this life to be in the presence of someone who knows you, who has seen you and continues to see you, who understands who you are and most importantly why you are who you are. The reasons behind your sadness and your happiness.  The knowing without explaining, the understanding without the analysing, all because they have witnessed you and your life. 

The people who get to live out there days with a partner from a young age until they are old and wrinkly are truly blessed. 

Steph